I am back. (And my beard’s gone)
Definitely not out of desperation. Also, Facebook and my beard are not related either. So, I decided to hide from the world of Facebook for a week. Here's an extract from my journal. I thought deactivating Facebook was just a matter of clicking the “deactivate me”. Oh nonono (insert talking cat sound here). My journey started with Facebook wanting to know the reasons behind my sudden departure. I was then asked to select an answer from a list of presumptions, or write my own. I love multiple choices. Almost everywhere. (I said almost)
Facebook disappointed me here by not adding a stupid/funny answer. Every multiple-choice questions have a silly answer in the list. But not here. It was like trying to be funny with Bob. If you know Bob, you'll know what I meant here.
Anyway, I selected something that said “I will be back, please let me go”. I thought the agony was over. Not yet. Facebook then wanted me to enter my password. It was like entering your car through the driver’s door, check the ignition and exit through the passenger’s door before selling it. After several failed guesswords, I had to take the famous “forget password” path. After successfully deactivating Facebook took me back to the login page. And I stupidity logged in. Not knowing that it reactivates my account without warning. Cheeky buggers. Finally I was no longer a Facebook zombie.
I decided to treat myself with a refreshing cuppa. (10 AM, otherwise the cuppa would have been replaced by a drammah.
I put the kettle on and whilst waiting, I decided to scroll through the face…. oh nononono Drag…. Drop… uninstall… Goodbye to the blue F thing!! As I put her phone down to make my tea, the phone vibrated with unmistakably familiar tone of Facebook Messenger! Minutes, if not seconds after death, Facebook was already haunting me. I pick the phone up which was now blinking as if it has just joined the Facebook haunt club. “Did you just delete your Facebook?” A message from a familiar head. How did she know? Do I have an AI stalker that tells the owner whenever a user deactivates his Facebook? I am sure my now dead Facebook didn't change th status to “deleted”. And I no longer have Facebook to tell the world that I have just deactivated my account!!!
I later discovered that, even you deactivate your account, the messenger works independently, just like beheaded cockroaches, useless yet alive.
On the first day, everything felt long, apart from toilet breaks which were undoubtedly shorter. I also discovered the following
Boring, I know. on her positive note, the juice on my Huawei P9 phone lasted longer, and my good ol’ Samsung tablet didn't beg to plug till late. Also, no trump news, although it was hard to avoid as I love Simpsons. But the best part was, no more digital buskers. Although, (I am about to start a confession here) I have unfollowed (or unfriended, depending on the severity of offence) everyone who had committed these.
It felt like blessing in disguise, but I did miss Facebook. Here's what happened while I was away. In no particular order.
That's it. I am back and this time, I am likely to stay. At least until another midnightinspiration kicks in. Comments are closed.
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