Note: This is an old blog I posted elsewhere about a year ago and is still relevant. I was inspired to write this after a work colleague fell victim of this type of scam)
In the past 12 months, I had a privilege to witness two magnificent events, two of my best buddies got married (not with each other though) ng crew?
I read my speech umpteenth time and concluded that everything needs to be rewritten. At last, the final speech was born which received a better-than-expected response.
{ Note: this article has spent well over the human gestation period in draft, so please be gentle)
"Can I ask you a question?" I look up. And saw this lady with an expressionless expression. It was a familiar face who never said thank you for holding the door or responded to my greetings, Mind you, I am not a natural greeter. I don't greet people as a hobby. And I do not worship creeps. But I do acknowledge people while sharing a lift or a urinal (kidding,) it doesn't bother me though. With an exception of e-grins ( rolf, lol, and HHCD for those who use this), I don't get offended if someone doesn't respond to my greetings. I don't know how much this lady knows about me but I usually see her in the staff room, always bragging about something. And that's everything I know about her. Today she was standing in front of my desk and asking if she could ask me a question! No hello, hi or any sort of human greeting- just plain, tasteless, "can I ask you a question?" question. With her robotic voice and zero expression on her face, I couldn't distinguish whether she was asking for a favour or doing me one. I fish for the right word to respond. "You just did" didn't sound legit. Instead, I let go two short "huhs" - an attempt to copy her expression. I was making sure I don't look interested either. "You know I have an iPad" she began and continued. The next 25 seconds of her verbal diarrhoea detailed the location, cost and reasons behind the purchase of the iPad with a torrent of added extras. I was in eternity. Where was my selective hearing when I needed it most? Anyway, the bus with a flat tyre on an unpaved, puddled road finally came to a halt- at least I thought it did. I was wrong. The one-way conversation went on and on. Thankfully I got my selective hearing back with an automated affirmative nodding. "What do you think?" She halted. Finally. I removed my virtual earplugs and attempted to recall the conversation I wasn't listening to. Luckily I heard the words "printer" and "cable" and I assumed that the question is about printing from an iPad. "What type of cable?" I still had to know a bit more than those two words before offering any solutions. "Data cable" She responded. "Okayyy" I said, waiting for more information, instead, I received a blank stare. "so you want to plug your iPad into your printer?" Hypothetic? perhaps. But I seem to be moving in the right direction. " yes," she said. "I don't think it works that way" is A generic answer in an attempt to harvest more information. "I want to print from my iPad and The guy at pc world said you can " I couldn't understand why she was barking at me for the last 5 minutes if "the guy at pc world" told her that it was possible. Presumably, the guy just said yes to avoid her. Or he owns a pair of virtual earplugs too. "For a computer to recognise a printer, it needs a piece of software called driver" I tried to explain but she interrupted "But it's a iPad." " Your iPad is a computer" No response to that. instead, she goes, " where can I download this driver software?" " I don't know......" " what if you plug the cable on iTunes?" She impatiently interrupted again. I didn't know what to say. "How can you plug a cable on iTunes?" I failed to hide my annoyance here. "That's what I am asking you," She said without missing a blink. I virtually pulled my hair and banged my head on the table few times. I was talking to a woman who wants to physically plug a piece of hardware to software via a cable. I try to end the conversation. Listen, I said, I am not an apple expert. you need to either visit the apple store or ring them. I said. "Do you have the number?" At this point, I wished I could slap her. I took a deep breath. "I don't own any apple products" I sounded surprisingly calm. "Can you find out for me?" She wasn't giving up. "I don't own any Apple product" I repeat, with a higher pitch. I have never experienced someone being so demanding for a piece of free advice and help. I felt like I am being robbed at a knife point. you, yes you. give me some advise or prepare to die.!! Or a less harsh version. listen carefully mate, nobody gets hurt if you kindly answer my questions. I don't care whether you know the answer or not, but you must answer the questions the way I want/ She was still standing, expecting me to run and dig through my papers to find the number for her. why don't you go to Dixon s and ask? I said, calm-ish-ly. "yes, but they said I need a cable" I was glad I had never spoken to this lady in my life. Back to square one would be an understatement here. I took a deep, invisible - inaudible sigh. I don't even know why is she there for? Does she want me to produce a cable out of a hat? "Why don't you visit the apple store?" My attempt to get rid of her. "umm, that's too far." Now I was really annoyed. I let go of another inaudible $#&*. "Listen, why don't you go back to the guy at Dixons or PC world and ask to show you how it is done" I was louder than normal " Do you think he will charge me" I felt like charging a blow. " I don't know, why don't you go and ask him first" "I will do that then" Then she walked away without saying anything, That was a massive phew moment. I didn't care she left without thanking me or appreciating me, I was grateful that she left. Few days after that, I was inside a lift and so was she. " can I ask you a question" Hello there,
I don't know who you are but I know you are reading me. 42 visits a day is waaay more than I expected. Please nudge me so that I can be inspired to finish the seven drafts I have, please a. let me know who you are. (shh is accepted, just don't tell everyone, To secure your 100% anonymity, please post your name and photo in your local newspaper ) b. give me a sign that you enjoy( or hate) my writing ( tweet me, FB me or email me) c. read (b)
I am not a whisky connoisseur but certainly am a big enthusiast. This is my third visit to Whisky Live and I thought it's about time I share my experience.
This year, I had a rare opportunity (brag…brag) to join a Masterclass organized by the Whisky Magazine people where we had a chance to sample the winners of world whiskies awards. And here they are: The big WWA winners (with my tasting notes) World’s best single malt whisky: Sullivan's cove French oak cask (47.5%) I don’t have a big experience in sampling the Aussie version of the dram. But this is an art of a genius. This single cask bottling from Tasmania is matured in French oaks for around 10 years and is bottled using rainforest water! Nose: dried cranberries, a hint of citrus, dark chocolate, toasted almonds, Palate: Fruity, cereals, bit peppery, vanilla spice. Finish: Firewood smoke, dark fruits and chocolate, well balanced, World's best American whiskey: Balcones brimstone resurrection ( 64.5%) It is not easy disassociating American whiskey from bourbon. This smokey beast is NOT a bourbon. Made from Texan blue corn, this whiskey gets its smoke in a non-traditional way that involves a secret process where scrub oak is used to “smoke” the new make spirit prior to maturation. Nose: Burnt rubber, perfumes (incense sticks), sweet, open widely with drops of water, Palate: Smoky, sweet syrup, fruits, Finish: Long, warm and spicy, with a superb balance of smoke, honey, and dried fruit. World’s best Grain whiskey: Teeling single grain (46%) This world’s best grain whiskey comes from Ireland and is fully matured in Californian cabernet sauvignon casks. Nose: Sweet apples, cloves and caramel, hints of vanilla spice Palate: light and buttery, yet sweet and chewy Finish: long and balanced, World’s Best Blend: The lost distilleries blend (50.9%) As the name suggests, this is a blend of the whiskies from closed distilleries- Rosebank, Littlemill, Imperial, Mosstowie, Glen Keith and Port Ellen. A rare masterpiece from the blended whisky company. Just 97 bottles were released. Nose: sweet, fragrant spice, hints of citrus Palate: Tropical fruit, rich with balanced smoke, Vanilla spice Finish: Long, warm and dry with lingering smokiness. Other whiskies I sampled Apart from the WWA winners, I managed to sample a few other interesting whiskies. Here are a few to mention: Penderyn: From the Penderyn distillery ( formerly known as The Welsh whisky company) in Wales. Penderyn Sherywood(50%): Matured in Oloroso casks, Limited release Penderyn Peated (46%) The peated expression doesn’t come from the peat smoke itself but from the ex-islay casks. Old Pulteney: one of the most northerly distilleries in Scotland, Old Pulteney Navigator (46%) Sherry and bourbon casks. Old Pulteney:12 Years old (40%) Double Gold winner WSC San Francisco, 2006 Old Pulteney: 17 Years old (46%) WWA 2012 winner- Best Highland 13-20 years category. (Oloroso and Pedro Ximenez) Four Roses Bourbon Interesting story about the name from MasterofMalts. It is said that the founder of the distillery- Paul L Jones Jr was in love with a beautiful unnamed Southern girl. He feared rejection and rather than ask her in person, he sent her a letter proposing marriage. She replied saying that if she wore a red rose to the upcoming local ball, it would signal a favourable response. To his delight, she was not wearing one red rose, but a corsage four. Thus, the brand name was born. Kavalan: A good whisky from King Car Distillery in Taiwan, Named after the people who originally inhabited the island in Yilan county. Also Gold winner of IWSC 2011. Balblair One of the few distilleries that release whisky in vintage years. Balblair 1990 (46%) unchill filtered. Travel Retail Exclusive, Bourbon casks. Balblair 1983(46%) American oak, non-chill filtered. Glen Garioch Pronounced "geery" Glen Garioch Virgin oak (48%) First-ever release of this style. North American oak, Glen Garioch 1986: The end of peatiness. The few last batches of peated whisky from the distillery. Glen Garioch no longer produces peated whisky. Glen Garioch 1999 (56.3%) Matured entirely in Oloroso, Glen Garioch 1995 (55.3%) winner (Gold) at IWSC 2012. Glen Moray From Elgin, in Speyside. Glen Moray Chardonnay cask (40%) Matured entirely in Chardonnay casks. Girvan: Grain Distillery from the makers of Glenfiddich and Balvenie. Girvan Patent Still LE Bottling: (42%)25 Years old, UK exclusive FEW: Impressive name for the distillery. That's what they do - make a (few)range of American spirits, from gin to Bourbon, including some speciality spirits Few Rye Whiskey(46.5%) Few Bourbon (46.5%) Tomintoul The gentle dram from speyside, AKA speyside glenlivet Tomintoul Peaty Tang; (40%) a rare peaty treat from Speyside Teeling Deliciously Irish single-grain whiskey. Winners of the WWA 2014. Expressions include rum and wine cask maturation. That’s it. It was a great experience and a great recovery the next day!! Visit their website for your nearest whisky live events if you're interested.
We take things for granted in this part of the world. Even for the smallest of things we don’t pay attention until they are no longer with us. Our microwave croaked a week ago. I was informed over the phone by the missus in a grumfused-that is grumpy but confused, tone whilst I was walking home. “Did you try switching on and off” IT technician part of my brain suddenly kicked in. "you mean unplugging and plugging back in?" the missus corrected me. "You know what I mean" I responded with the universal verbal Tippex after quietly thanking myself for not using words like "shutdown" and "reboot". The missus followed my instruction with a few humphs as I wait on the other end. "it didn’t work" She gave up. "Not to worry, I will take a look when I arrive" I comforted her and increased my speed. I went straight to the kitchen, probably pretending to be an expert on microwaves. Once again, I subconsciously performed the “unplug-wait-plug” steps. I immediately felt a bunch of stupidity hovering over my head. I looked at my missus who was watching my every step with " my husband is an expert" eyes. In an attempt to unsee, I lifted the microwave up to the dining room and plugged it there. Then I replaced the fuse as a final attempt as the missus watched patiently. No Joy. I threw an annoying and frustrating look at the ancient-looking white box and wondered whether or not he had witnessed the first moon landing. I wished I could ask this, but the box was motionless, its blinking monochrome eyes were long gone and the attention-seeking beeps were silenced by the unknown. I gave a long sigh of farewell. A certificate was signed and funeral plans were arranged. ************************************************************************************************************** The next step was to inform the estate agent, We recently had our washing machine replaced and we weren't too sure whether or not the landlord agrees to replace the microwave too. “Leave to me” the estate agent responded in a heavy Indian accent. Phew, A sigh of relief escaped after learning that we weren’t out of our pocket. It would be very difficult otherwise especially in January when we don't get paid for the over-six-weeks period and the budget is normally stretched to the limit. We didn’t miss our white box that day as both of us left home in early hours. And in the evening, we made some non-microwave meal and the poor white box never made it to the dinnertime conversation. The poor thing remained still in the kitchen as if it was waiting for a miracle cure. Helpless, mute!! The next morning, we used the oven hob to boil milk and make porridge. “It tastes better when you cook things properly” The missus claimed, No true respect for the deceased box, but I agreed. The porridge was delicious, however, It could be our inbuilt mechanism to compensate for the loss. A self sympathy. There was nothing we could do, apart from waiting for the potential delivery courtesy to the landlord. After waiting for three days, we decided to chase up. “I thought I told you to buy one and we will compensate you” The agent barked, We couldn’t conclude whether the estate agent was lying or the ghost of our old microwave trying to stop us from replacing him. Either way, there was no point arguing with the agent. So I ordered a replacement. And we started to truly miss the box. On day four, we pretended that we tried to avoid microwave heating, but the milk and leftovers claimed otherwise. Day five: the missus heated milk in a pan, on the hob, on the kitchen floor..... I must admit, the pan looked delicious with burnt milk and the aroma took no time filling the whole house. Was it posthumous revenge from our beloved white box? “You disrespected me, now let me fill your house with my revenge, you will then never forget me (evil laugh)" Maybe, the box was indeed trying to communicate with us, warning l us for disrespecting him. Every time we opened our main door, we were welcomed by the aroma. No matter what we do- from letting the windows open and freezing to our (my, to be precise as the missus doesn’t have any- in a literal way) balls off, emptying cans of Febreze, singing, dancing, exorcism (exaggeration) - nothing worked for the stubborn bastard. But the more we feel the smell, the more we missed our box, He would never let this happen to us if he was alive. With an exception of rare overflowing, he was a loyal companion to us. RIP big fella!! ************************************************************************* Hey gorgeous… you look uh-mazing!! I caressed as I de-boxed the newest member of our kitchen family. I recently came across this unbelievably silly song via buzzfeed. After gangnam style , the parody , this utterly meaningless song , and this silly parody, I thought I have seen them all!! But no, this song actually makes the Friday song more meaningful. And it is growing. 619K plus viewers and counting. As usual, behind every popular song, there is a train of parodies. ( Two of them are actually my creation) But this is my favorite one Here are the videos. The original song: And this is what I thought the song says. And the of course, the Nepalese version I had my birthday yesterday. The best thing about birthdays-when you're older, is to think that the recent one is the best birthday bash ever. Clearly because you don't remember the last ones.
And good old alcohol is there to take all the blames - with a few credits. I am not an exception and I proudly announce that the recent one is the best one. The runner ups would be the one I celebrated in Paris. Wine for breakfast and empty stomach on eiffell tower might not sound great but it honestly was. especially after a big meal and few more vinos.Hope I remember everything. Next thing about birthdays is wishes. I have approximately 400 connection on Facebook. Connection because I don't know them all. Some of course, are close friends, a few family members and some friends of friends of friends. I think there's an undeclared competition somewhere - to see how many wishes one gets. its like counting the number of likes or comments on your silly status or holiday brag s. I received approximately 55 wishes on Facebook, and the same amount via text messages and phone calls. I remember telling a friend once, I will delete those who don't wish me a happy birthday who later convinced me not to. thinking back - I do have a valid point. with an exception of inactive connections, why bother staying in the connection or circle if you can't spend a mere 15 selfless seconds. Anyway, enough of my rants. I do actually have probably the best birthday wishes painted on my virtual wall. In no particular order, these are my personal favorites. "You are the most beautiful creation of god, most precious gift I ever have. Heard many tales about angels never thought I actually will be living with one. I thank god and I thank my dear mother in law for this blissful day. Couldn't thank anymore. My only wish is to celebrate many more birthdays together" "Even though I don't have the most beautiful words to wish u.. I bet I have the most care and love for u"" Everytime I fell,you pushed me up...you never left me miss a step...shed any tear feel my fear...I believe I wouldn't be the same without you..." "May you find your happiness in everything you do. Wishing you the most blessed and happiest birthday ever. many many happy returns of the day!!! And trust me you are not 30+, you are still 18 with some years experience" Needless to say, these are all from family members. And no, I won't start deleting ... just yet.(typed from my note 2 and published without proofreading. errors will be hunted down and taken care of. ) Update: This is the second attempt. the first one vanished in the cloud during the upload process |
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